Stay with this -- the answer is at the end.
It will blow you away.

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events. The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

The Grandpa replied, 'Well, let me think a
minute, I was born before:

' television

' penicillin

' polio shots

' frozen foods

' Xerox

' contact lenses

' Frisbees and

' the pill

There was no:

' radar

' credit cards

' laser beams or

' ball-point pens

Man had not invented:

' pantyhose

' air conditioners

' dishwashers

' clothes dryers

' and the clothes were hung out to
dry in the fresh air and

' man hadn't yet walked on the moon


Your Grandmother and I got married first, and then lived together.

Every family had a father and a mother.

Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, 'Sir'. And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, 'Sir.'

We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers, day-care centres, and group therapy.

Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and
common sense..

We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up
and take responsibility for our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege.

We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.

Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.

Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started.

Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and
weekends-not purchasing condominiums.

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.

We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios.
And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.

If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk.

The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam.

Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.

We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.

Ice-cream cones, phone calls, ride on a bus, and a Coke were all a nickel.

And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, . . . but who could afford one?
Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day:

' 'grass' was mowed,

' 'coke' was a cold drink,

' 'pot' was something your mother
cooked in and

' 'rock music' was your grandmother's
lullaby.

' 'Aids' were helpers in the Principal's
office,

' ' chip' meant a piece of wood,

' 'hardware' was found in a hardware
store and

' 'software' wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us 'old and confused' and say there is a generation gap.. and how old do you think I am?

I bet you have this old man in mind...you are in for a shock!

Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it
and pretty sad at the same time.


This man would be only
58 years old!

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Two businessmen in New York City are sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be opened new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready. Only a few shelves are set up and nothing was yet on display.
One says to the other, 'I bet any minute now some stupid tourist is going to walk by, look in the window, stick his face in the door, and ask what we're selling.'
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious gentleman walks to the window, has a
peek, sticks his head in the door and in a Texan drawl asks, 'What're y'all sellin' here?'
One of the men replies, 'Oh! We're selling assholes here'
Without skipping a beat, the Texan says, 'Well, I see y'all're doing real good; you only got two left!'

NEW YORKERS SHOULD NOT MESS WITH TEXANS.

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We all know that we're now living in the world of high technology. With all the latest in electronics and computers, there's no doubt about it. I just wish I could go to a technical school and gain more knowledge about computer programming and the internet. I was just browsing the net when I came across this site where I can find tech schools to get the right training. I guess this is needed to gain more knowledge in the field of computer courses. They offer it training in all their schools in the country.

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Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the
tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the
apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at
the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're
amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the
one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's
up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into
something acceptable to have dinner with.

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Medical jobs has a high demand here in the US. Many medical professionals from overseas are coming here to seek greener pasture. Maybe it's about time that people here in this country should go in to medical careers like becoming an ultrasound technologist or sonographer. There's a site where you can find an ultrasound tech school in different states in the country. Be a sonographer and you can do the job of viewing a fetus in the womb. Just browse the site and then enroll in their ultrasound technician school and get the medical training that you need for your chosen career.

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Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr . Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, yo u cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,

'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

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