Think carefully about what you will be reading.
This is a new one for me...


Mary had a little Lamb,
His fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
The Lamb was sure to go.


He followed her to school each day,
T'wasn't even in the rule.
It made the children laugh and play,
To have a Lamb at school.


And then the rules all changed one day,
Illegal it became;
To bring the Lamb of God to school,
Or even speak His Name!


Every day got worse and worse,
And days turned into years.
Instead of hearing children laugh,
We heard gun shots and tears.


What must we do to stop the crime,
That's in our schools today?
Let's let the Lamb come back to school,
And teach our kids to pray!

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I've been using a dial up connection for a while and I tell you, it's so slow. It takes ages to download and browse other sites. So I switched to DSL a few months ago. It's really faster to browse the internet and to download some programs. Now I want to subscribe for wireless internet so I can use my laptop anywhere around the house. I've been searching for the best internet services provider when I came across this site where I can get information and deals for broadband access services like DSL, cable, wireless and satellite. I browsed their wireless internet providers because this is what I've been wanting to have. I can compare services with those sites that offer it. Also I browsed their DSL service providers to see who offer the best deal and services. If you're not satisfied with your internet providers, just go to this site and look for the best internet providers that will suit your need.

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A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what's the difference between potentially and realistically?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars? Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that. So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would!? We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt! I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?" The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?" The boy replied "Yes . . . Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but realistically, we're living with two hookers and a homo."

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Stay with this -- the answer is at the end.
It will blow you away.

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events. The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

The Grandpa replied, 'Well, let me think a
minute, I was born before:

' television

' penicillin

' polio shots

' frozen foods

' Xerox

' contact lenses

' Frisbees and

' the pill

There was no:

' radar

' credit cards

' laser beams or

' ball-point pens

Man had not invented:

' pantyhose

' air conditioners

' dishwashers

' clothes dryers

' and the clothes were hung out to
dry in the fresh air and

' man hadn't yet walked on the moon


Your Grandmother and I got married first, and then lived together.

Every family had a father and a mother.

Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, 'Sir'. And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, 'Sir.'

We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers, day-care centres, and group therapy.

Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and
common sense..

We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up
and take responsibility for our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege.

We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.

Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.

Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started.

Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and
weekends-not purchasing condominiums.

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.

We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios.
And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.

If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk.

The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam.

Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.

We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.

Ice-cream cones, phone calls, ride on a bus, and a Coke were all a nickel.

And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, . . . but who could afford one?
Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day:

' 'grass' was mowed,

' 'coke' was a cold drink,

' 'pot' was something your mother
cooked in and

' 'rock music' was your grandmother's
lullaby.

' 'Aids' were helpers in the Principal's
office,

' ' chip' meant a piece of wood,

' 'hardware' was found in a hardware
store and

' 'software' wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us 'old and confused' and say there is a generation gap.. and how old do you think I am?

I bet you have this old man in mind...you are in for a shock!

Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it
and pretty sad at the same time.


This man would be only
58 years old!

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Two businessmen in New York City are sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be opened new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready. Only a few shelves are set up and nothing was yet on display.
One says to the other, 'I bet any minute now some stupid tourist is going to walk by, look in the window, stick his face in the door, and ask what we're selling.'
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious gentleman walks to the window, has a
peek, sticks his head in the door and in a Texan drawl asks, 'What're y'all sellin' here?'
One of the men replies, 'Oh! We're selling assholes here'
Without skipping a beat, the Texan says, 'Well, I see y'all're doing real good; you only got two left!'

NEW YORKERS SHOULD NOT MESS WITH TEXANS.

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We all know that we're now living in the world of high technology. With all the latest in electronics and computers, there's no doubt about it. I just wish I could go to a technical school and gain more knowledge about computer programming and the internet. I was just browsing the net when I came across this site where I can find tech schools to get the right training. I guess this is needed to gain more knowledge in the field of computer courses. They offer it training in all their schools in the country.

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