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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Shopping Online

I love shopping online because it’s more convenient for me. I don’t drive and besides, I can save money because I don’t have to buy gas to go shopping. I can shop in the comfort of my home. I can search for the products that I want and I can even compare prices with other sites. I have a laptop which I bought last year and it's been so helpful to me because it's handy and I can take it when I travel. If you're looking for a good deal of laptop computers why not visit Shopwiki.com and I'm pretty sure you will find a lot of laptops to choose from different online stores.

At ShopWiki.com, you can search the products that you want to buy like Gateway laptop computer and then you can compare prices with other stores that sell this stuff. You can even read reviews of the website and the products from other buyers. You can search brands by price range to help me decide which product to buy. Shopping is that easy nowadays with the use of the internet.

ShopWiki will give a shopper everything. For a shopper, this means they can find anything and everything for sale on the web at ShopWiki.com. More products from more stores means better deals and savings for us shoppers. You don’t have to hop from one website to the other because you find everything at their site like tennis shoes which my hubby needs. Visit ShopWiki now and start your shopping.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Forrest Gump Goes To Heaven

They said that laughter is a good medicine and it's free. Here's another joke that will surely make you laugh. I had a good laugh after reading this. Have fun reading.

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself... However, the gates are closed,and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.


St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest,it is certainly good to see you.

We have heard a lot about you.. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have topass it before you can get into Heaven.'


Forrest responds, 'It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.'


St. Peter continued, 'Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

First:

What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second:

How many seconds are there in a year?

Third:

What is God's first name?'


Forrest leaves to think the questions over.

He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says,

'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers'


Forrest replied, 'Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'?

Shucks, that one is easy.. That would be Today and Tomorrow.'


The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer.. How about the next one?' asked St. Peter.


'How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'


Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?'


Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd.. '


'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter. 'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too.

Let us go on with the third and final question.

Can you tell me God's first name'?


'Sure,' Forrest replied, 'it's Andy..'


'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.
'Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?'


'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,' Forrest replied.

'I learnt it from the song, 'ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN...'


St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: 'Run Forrest, run.'




Give me a sense of humor, Lord.

Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,

To get some humor out of life,

And to pass it on to other folks.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Joke Time

If you're sad, just read these jokes and I'm pretty sure it will make you laugh. My sister sent this to my e-mail and I just wanna share it here. Enjoy and be happy! By the way, this is my first time to post in Tagalog-English language.

Sa Math Class...

Teacher: Banong, kung meron akong 1 piraso ng karne at hinati ko ito,

ilang piraso na?


Banong: 2 po mam!

Teacher: At kung hinati ko pa pareho?

Banong: 4 na piraso po!

Teacher: Hinati ko ulit.

Banong: 8 piraso po.

Teacher: Hinati ko pa.

Banong: 16 po mam.

Teacher: Hinati ko pa?

Banong: 32 piraso na po!

Teacher: Kung hinati ko ulit?

Banong: 64 po! (nakangiti)

Teacher: At hinati ko pa? 2 beses ko pang hinati?

Banong: Ay susmaryosep mam! GINILING napo! GINILING!!!

SA BAKERY

Pulubi: Palimos po ng cake.

Ale: Aba, sosyal ka ah! Namalimos ka lang, gusto mo pang cake.. eto

pandesal!

Pulubi: Duh! Ate?! Bday ko kaya today?!?

ANAK: Tay mag-ingat kayo sa DANKTRAK!.

TATAY: ano ung danktrak?

ANAK: Yunn pong trak na 10 ang gulong na karga buhangin?

TATAY: Tanga inde danktrak un...TEN MILLER!!!

Honeymoon...

BRIDE: Kinakabahan ako. Baka di ko makaya.. Parang natatakot ako.

GROOM- Kaya mo ito. Diba dati may alaga kang ahas?

BRIDE- Oo nga, pero takot talaga ako sa UOD!!


BOY: Wala akong kwentang anak para sa inyo! Lahat ng ginagawa ko

puro mali!

Lagi nalang ako mali!!! Di 'nyo na ako mahal!

AMA: Nagkakamali ka anak?

BOY: Shet! Mali na naman ako!!!


Nanay: Ang lakas mo kumain pero di ka mautusan. Ang kapal mo!

Anak: Kapag yung baboy natin malakas kumain, natutuwa ka.

Sino ba talaga ang
anak mo, ako o yong baboy?

Umayos ka nay! Wag ganun!



BF : May ibibigay akong gift sa yo, pero hulaan mo muna!

GF: Sige, clue naman...

BF: Kailangan ito ng leeg mo.

GF: Kwintas?

BF: Hindi... PANGHILOD! SMILE!!!


(Sa loob ng Mall)

GUY: LOVE, yan ang dati kong girlfriend.

Jowa: Ang pangit pangit naman!

GUY: Wala akong magagawa, yan talaga ang weakness ko ever since...


JUDGE: Ano ba talaga nangyari?

ERAP: ? (di nagsasalita)

JUDGE: Sumagot ka sa tanong.

ERAP: Naman eh!!! Kala ko ba hearing lang to??? Bakit may speaking?

NARS: doc, bat tinanggihan nyo yung pasyente?

DR: alin, yung bakla?

NARS: opo. Baka sabihin namimili tayo, porket bading siya.

DR: ano naman raraspahin ko sa kanya?


FROG: what does my future hold?

FAIRY: you'll meet someone who wants to know everything about you.

FROG: great! Will I meet her in a party?

FAIRY: no. in biology class


Things you don't want to hear during your own surgery:

-san yung gunting na bago? Bat may kalawang to?

-10ml? may nakasurvive na ba dyan? Sabi ko 5ml lang!

-doc, ubos na po pala yung anesthesia.

-kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan yung pantahi?

-sunog! Sunog! Labas lahat!


inspiring quote of the day:

"hindi ako tamad. Hindi ko lang alam kung saan ko ibubuhos kasipagan ko."


'dear te, dear te, dear te!!!'

-sigaw ni Anabel Rama kay Lorin at Veniz (mga anak ni Rofa) habang

naglalaro ng tubig sa kanal.


MRS: hon, am I pretty or ugly?

MR: uhm.. both..

MRS: anong both? Pwedeng pretty and ugly?

MR: ang ibig ko sabihin, you're pretty ugly.


TEACHER: okay class our lesson for today is science. What is science?

PEDRO: ako ma'am! Ako ma'am!

TEACHER: okay Pedro, what is science?

PEDRO: science is our lesson for today.


AMO: inday, paalisin mo nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay.

(nilabas ni Inday)

INDAY: off you go! Under no circumstance this house would not relent

to such
unabashed display of vagrant destitution!

PULUBI: oh! I'm so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks!

(nakakuha na ng katapat si Inday!)


NOSEBLEED!!

BOB: nakakamagkano ka sa 1 araw?

PULUBI: nag-uumpisa kasi ako ng 8am. Ngayon 9am na. naka 80 na ko.

BOB: hindi din masama noh? Ano mabibili mo niyan?

PULUBI: pwede na tong isang espresso macchiato sa starbucks!


DOC: umubo ka!

PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!

DOC: ubo pa!

PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!

DOC: okay.

PEDRO: ano po ba sakit ko doc?

DOC: may ubo ka.


MEKANIKO: sir, hindi ko po naayos preno ng kotse niyo.

CUSTOMER: ha?! Pano yan?

MEKANIKO: nilakasan ko na lang po ang inyong busina!

Happy trip na lang po!


Divorced father: anak pag-uwi mo bigay mo sa nanay mo itong cheke

at sabihin mo
18 yrs old ka na, huling cheke na makukuha niya for

child support tapos tignan mo kung ano ang expression ng
face niya.

Anak: mom, sabi ni dad bigay ko daw sayo itong cheke, last support na

niya ito sa kin kasi 18 na ako.
Pagkatapos tignan ko daw

expression ng face mo.


Mom: sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya paki sabi salamat sa suporta

kahit
di mo siya tatay! Pagkatapos tignan mo expression ng face niya!'


BOY: dad, tulong naman sa assignment ko. Find the least common denominator daw.

DAD: ha? aba'y elementary pa lang ako eh hinahanap na nila yan ah! Aba'y di pa ba nila nakikita?


BOY1: nakakakawa naman lola mo.

BOY2: bakit?

BOY1: nakasabay ko kasi magsimba nung isang araw, ubo ng ubo.

Pinagtitinginan nga ng tao.

BOY2: papansin lang yun!

BOY1: bakit?

BOY2: bago kasi blouse niya!


A boss confused about his Math asked his secretary:

If I give you P3M less 17%, how much would you take off?

SECRETARY: everything sir! Dress, bra, panty!


TEACHER: mga bata, alam niyo ba na ang bawat butil ng palay ay galing sa

dugo't pawis ng mga magsasaka?

MGA BATA: eeewwww!


BOY: is this your first time?

GIRL: (angrily) oo naman noh. You guys talaga. So kuleeet! Always asking me

the same question. Paulit-ulit. Hmp!


Magsyota sa motel.

BF: alam mo love, ikaw ang first girl na dinala ko dito.

GF: sinungaling. Sabi nila lagi ka dito!

BF: oo, pero ikaw lang talaga ang girl!


STUDENT: ma'am, pagagalitan niyo po ba ako sa bagay na hindi ko naman ginawa?

TEACHER: natural hindi.

STUDENT: good, di ko po ginawa assignment ko!

PARI: halika sa sulok

MADRE: bakit po?

PARI: sara mo pinto.

MADRE: wag po!

PARI: patayin mo ilaw!

MADRE: diyos ko po!

PARI: tamo rosary ko. Glow in the dark!


TITSER: bat ka na-late?

EDWARD: nawalan ho kasi ng 500 yung lalaki.

TITSER: tinulungan mo siyang maghanap?

EDWARD: hindi po, tinapakan ko lang hanggang umalis siya.


Sa kasalan

PARI: sana ang donation mo ay katumbas ng ganda ng pakakasalan mo.

GROOM: eto P5, father.

Tinignan ng pari ang bride.

PARI: eto P4 sukli mo iho.


Sabi nung friend ko, nakakalaki daw ng tiyan ang beer. Kasi noon minsan

nalasing siya, nabuntis siya!

Sinoli ni Erap ang libro sa library.

ERAP: sobrang dami ng characters wala naman storya.

LIBRARIAN: kayo pala kumuha ng telephone directory namin!


JAIME ZOBEL DE AYALA: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Spanish.

HENRY SY: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Chinese.

LITO ATIENZA: 1/2 Hawaiian, 1/2 Polo.

MIKE ARROYO: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 pork.

JOHN OSMENA: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Pinay.

PROSPERO PICHAY: 1/2 Unggoy, 1/2 gulay.

GMA: 1/2 ... only.


SA OSPITAL.....

WIFE: hon, nahirapan ako huminga.

HUSBAND: kung nahirapan ka ng huminga, itigil mo na.


GF: magaling! At sino tong baby na nagtext sayo?

BF: ah eh kumpare ko yun! Lalake yun! Baby lang palayaw.

GF: oh eto replyan mo. Hindi daw kayo tuloy at may mens daw ang tarantado!


INA: anak, tawagan mo nga tatay mo sa celfon. Pauwiin mo dito.

[pagkatapos tawagan.]

ANAK: nay, babae po ang sumagot.

INA: lintik, sinasabi ko na nga ba, may tinatago yang tatay mo eh!

Anong sabi?

ANAK: 'you only have zero pesos in your account...' hindi ko na tinapos

nay mukhang matapobre.


Nagbubungkal ng lupa si Erap para magtanim. Akala ng nakakita

niloloko lang siya dahil wala
naman siyang tinatanim.

BANTAY: sir, wala naman kayong tinatanim ah.

ERAP: bobo! Seedless to!


ANAK: nay, ano po ba yung 10 commandments?

NANAY: yun yung sampung utos ng Diyos.

ANAK: mas makapangyarihan pa po pala kayo sa Diyos eh!

NANAY: bakit?

ANAK: ang dami niyong utos eh!


thought to ponder:

hindi kaya ang dahilan ng pagbaha sa panahon ni Noah ay

pinutol niya lahat
ng puno para gumawa ng napaka

laking arko? ano sa tingin mo?



PEDRO: niloko ko yung tindera kanina.

JUAN: paano mo naman niloko yung tindera?

PEDRO: nagpaload ako eh wala naman akong celfon.

Kung totoo ang ' Darwin 's theory of evolution' na ang tao

ay nagmula sa unggoy, bakit may mga taong mukhang kabayo?


DORAY: mare, kulang pa kami ng isang miyembro. baka gusto

mong sumali sa paluwagan.


PINANG : hindi pa ako pwede, mare.

DORAY: bakit mare?

PINAY: virgin pa kasi ako.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Free Gift Card Sweepstakes From Charter Cable

Hey guys, if you're not satisfied with your cable, phone and internet service provider, then why not switch to a better, cheaper and more reliable company like Charter. Aside from providing you with an affordable and better services, Charter is also creating new bundle offers for more ways to save on home entertainment. I bet you didn't get this offer from other cable companies out there. Here's more from Charter. As part of that campaign Charter Cable is attracting new customers and rewarding existing customers in new and exciting ways by giving away gift cards during the month of May. Anybody could enter for a chance to win by joining the Charter's Free Gift Card Sweepstakes and if you're lucky, you could win $5,000 gift card grand prize or four weekly prizes of a $1,000 gift card. Ain't that cool?

The contest is open to anyone and no purchase is necessary. A current or new customer who orders anything online at Charter.com throughout May is automatically entered to win and will receive $75 or $150 in gift cards depending on their bundle selection. To keep up with the latest from Charter and to get valuable deals and access to great sweepstakes, FollowCharter on Twitter at www.twitter.com/chartercom. Charter had already given away a lot of cool prizes the previous months. Why don't you visit their site today and enter the contest for a chance to win.

-1
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Monday, May 4, 2009

Baguio, Revisited

We just came back from a 2 week vacation in Baguio the other day. My hubby had a good time there because he didn't sweat a lot unlike here in the lowland. The weather there is nice and cool. Hubby had been doing his daily walk there and he impressed me because he went out walking 3 to 5 times a day. He never did that here in our town. He said it's too hot to go out walking here. We've been to Baguio many times already since we've been here in my homeland. If only we have the money, we would like to buy a house there. I just keep wishing and praying. Who knows, God will grant us our desire in His time. Anyways, here are some pics of us taken in Baguio.




Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Banana

Never, put your banana in the refrigerator!!! This is interesting. After reading this, you'll never look at a banana in the same way again.

Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation. Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.

Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.

Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

Strokes: According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine, "eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around. So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"

PS: Bananas must be the reason monkeys are so happy all the time! I will add one here; want a quick shine on our shoes?? Take the INSIDE of the banana skin, and rub directly on the shoe...polish with dry cloth.
Amazing fruit.