A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters, he asks St. Peter, "I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth: Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?"
St. Peter said, "That's a question only God can answer." So the zebra went off in search of God.
When he found Him, the zebra asked, "God, please - I must know. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?"
God simply replied "You are what you are."
The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him, "Well, did God resolve your query for you?"
The zebra looked puzzled. "No sir, God simply said 'You are what you are.'"
St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, "Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes."
The zebra asked St. Peter, "How do you know that for certain?"
"Because," said St. Peter, "If you were black with white stripes, God would have said, "You is what you is."
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Zebra Dilemma Solved...
Posted by Lisa at Saturday, June 07, 2008Witness Testimonial
Posted by Lisa at Saturday, June 07, 2008What if I would be in a situation that I will become a witness and will be required to reinvent myself through the Witness Protection Program? It would be hard to adjust to a new life, relocate and be away from my friends and loved ones. Life would not be the same but life has to go on. I would be relocating to the country and be away from the city life. I would have to change my job and perhaps I would just prefer to work at home so I would not be in contact to a lot of people. In that way I can protect myself from anybody who would be on the look out for me. I would have to
change my name too and of course I would have to familiarize myself to my new environment. I bet I would have a hard time doing it at first but after a while I'm sure I'll get used to it.
Speaking of being a witness and relocating, watch out for the USA Network's new original series In Plain Sight which opened last June 1st. This is a new crime drama wherein Mary Shannon is a US Marshall for the Witness Protection Program in this action TV show. This is the kind of show that my hubby loves to watch. Watch out folks and don't miss out.
Friday, June 6, 2008
3 Blondes
Posted by Lisa at Friday, June 06, 2008Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on theTexas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, 'So y'all want to be cops, huh?'
The blondes all nodded.
The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, 'To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars and so forth.'
So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.
'Now,' he said, 'did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?'
The blonde immediately said, 'Yes, I did He has only one eye!'
The detective shook his head and said, 'Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!'
The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.
The detective then turned to the second blonde, said, 'What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?'
'Yes! He only has one ear!'
The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, 'Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!'
The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.
The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said,'This is probably a waste of time, but ... He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, 'All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?'
The blonde said, 'I sure did.. This man wears contact lenses.'
The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, 'You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?'
The blonde rolled her eyes and said, 'Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses.'
Thursday, May 29, 2008
More About Me
Posted by Lisa at Thursday, May 29, 2008Tagged by Lira. Thanks Sis:)
Participants: Tere-Blessing in Life 2.Yen- Me and Mine 3.Aggie - Pink and Brown Diaries. 4. Mich - Random Thoughts 5. Vannie - FunFierceFab 6. Jane - My Charmed Life. 7. Abie – Women Xplore 8. Jody - In This Game of Life 9. Eds – Just Me. 10. something purple 11.vanity kit 12. em's detour 13. mind bubbles 14. In Demand Opinions 15. Sweet Lullaby 16. MJ's Hurrah17. Buzzing Around 18. Tasteful Voyage 19. A Mom's Note 20. moms..... check nyo 21. Technotrend 22. Ness 23.Filipino love stories 24. Lisa 25. Your link here
Tagging: Del, Juliana (NY), Ging, Ester and Joy.
1. What do you want for your birthday?
Diamond ring to replace my diamond ring that was stolen.
2. Who will be your next kiss?
My hubby.
3. When was the last time you went to the mall?
It's been a while.
4. Are you wearing socks right now?
Toink! no.
5. How did you spend your summer?
Went to Six Flags, Colorado, summer camp and most of the time I just stayed home coz it was freakin' hot.
6. Have you been to the cinema in the last 5 days?
No. I haven't been there for years.
7. What was the last thing you had to drink?
water
8. What are you wearing right now?
shirt and short
9. What was your last purchase?
my eyeglasses
10. What was the last food you ate?
tuna sandwich
11. Who would be the person you would call if you were up in the middle of the night and couldn’t sleep?
nobody
12. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
No
13. Do you have a pet?
No, hubby doesn't want pets in our house
14. What made you laugh in the last 5 days?
funny jokes sent by hubby in my e-mail and also hubby always tickling me
15. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?
Pangasinan, Philippines with my family
16. What is the last thing you purchased online?
cleansing herbs and zapper
17. One thing you hate about yourself?
nothing
18. Do you miss anyone?
yes, my family in the Philippines.
19. What are your plans for the day?
cook, blog, water my plants
20. Last person you sent message?
my sister
21. Ever went to a camp?
yes, summer camp in Oklahoma
22. Are you a good student in school?
probably...honor student from elementary up to high school daw...
23. What do you know about the (your) future?
Only God knows my future but I believe my future is safe and secure in His hands.
24. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Yes, Body by Victoria's Secret
25. Where is/are your best friend/s right now?
My Best Friend is up there always guiding me and protecting me, Jesus is my best friend.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Getting To Know Me
Posted by Lisa at Wednesday, May 28, 2008Thank you Dhel for this tag.
*****Start tag*****
What time do you usually wake up?
8:30-9:00 AM
What’s the first thing you do?
Drink 4 cups of water.
Breakfast?
egg sandwich
Do you go to work/school?
Work at home on the computer.
Do you like it?
Yeah but I miss working sometimes.
If you stay at home, what do you do all day?
Do household chores, blog, read, watch tv.
When’s lunch and what are you eating?
Lunch for me is between 12-1:oo PM and I ate anything that I cooked
What time do you get home from work/school?
I don't go to work or school.
What do you do?
Blogging, gardening, reading
Dinner: When and what?
When I get hungry, I eat foods of course like rice, meatloaf, beef stew, veggie salad.
What do you do to unwind?
Read, listen to music, go walking.
What’s your favorite part of the day?
Evening when I go to sleep
Who’s your favorite person to interact with?
My hubby.
When’s bedtime?
Anytime
Who’s bedtime with?
my hubby
*****End tag*****
Whoever wants to do this tag, feel free to grab it.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Helpful Tips (Part II)
Posted by Lisa at Saturday, May 24, 2008Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will
keep for weeks.
=============================================
When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the
corn's natural sweetness
.========== ====================! ======== =======
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half, and rub it on your
forehead. The throbbing will go away.
=============================================
To get rid of itch from mosquito bites, try applying soap on the area
and you will experience instant relief.
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Ants, ants, ants everywhere ... Well, they are said to never cross a chalk
line. So, get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants
tend to march. See for yourself.
=============================== =============
Use air-freshener to clean mirrors.! It does a good job and better still,
leaves a lovely smell to the shine.
============================================
When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to
tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, and
then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.
=====================================
Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer. .......
Clean a toilet.
Drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes,! brush a nd flush.
The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous China.
==================================== ========
Clean a vase.
To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water
and drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets.
============================================
Polish jewelry.
Drop two Alka Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the
jewelry for two minutes.
=============================================
Clean a thermos bottle.
Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka Seltzer tablets, and let soak
for an hour (or longer, if necessary).
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Unclog a drain.
Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka Seltzer tablets down the
drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar. Wait a few minutes,
and then run the hot water.
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